Hey Julia Woods
Join me, Julia Woods, a couples coach and wife of over 3 decades, as I share some of my client's stories and my own so that you can be encouraged, inspired, and gain new results in your marriage.
Hey Julia Woods
We made a mistake; we shouldn’t have gotten married!!
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If you have ever thought or said this, you won't want to miss this episode. Most marriage fights aren’t really about the dishes, the schedule, or the disagreement in front of you. In this episode, Eric and Casey share how unhealed wounds, parenting stress, and communication breakdowns nearly convinced them they had made a mistake, and the practical tools that helped them rebuild trust, resolve conflict, and create a healthier family culture. If you’ve ever wondered how to stop the cycle of recurring arguments, this conversation is packed with hope and actionable wisdom.
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Welcome To Hey Julia Woods
Welcome to Hey Julia Woods Podcast. I'm your host, Julia Woods, founder of Beautiful Outcome, a coaching company focused on helping couples learn to see and understand each other, even in the most difficult conversations. On my podcast, I will share with you the real and raw of the messiness and amazingness of marriage. I'll share with you aspects of my relationship and the couples I coach in a way that you can see yourself and find the tools that you need to build the marriage you long for. Welcome to another episode of Hey Julia Woods.
Meet Eric And Casey’s Story
I am so excited that you are here and are going to hear the story of this couple's process of coming to four breakthroughs and the journey of their marriage. This is Eric and Casey, and they have been married seven years. They have three children ranging from five and a half to a baby that at the time of this recording is due in nine days. So I am excited for you to hear their story and welcome Eric and Casey. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, good to be here. Yeah. So you guys have been to breakthrough four times, correct? Correct. Yep. Awesome. So you started coming two and a half or so years into marriage. Is that accurate? Yeah, we had one child at the time. She was probably a year or two old. Um, and we had no idea what to expect. Well, let's talk about it. Like what brought you to come? What, you know, how did you learn about it? And what was going on in your marriage that you said, hey, we need to go to this. Yeah. I think, well, we learned about it through um Caitlin, who I was working with at the time. They were going, they had been coaching with you. Um, and they just talked about so many different things that we had really never heard about before. Of mainly me. I was the one who was seeing it. And I told, I think I told Eric, like, hey, let's go to this thing. And he was like, uh, really? I'm like, yeah. Um, and so we were just kind of getting out of the throes of newborn. And um life was rough for us. I would say we got married, and then eight months later we were pregnant. Um, so a year and a half into our marriage, we now had a baby. Um, and I don't know if we're not if neon ever really figures out marriage, but um, we had barely figured it out as just the two of us, and then we added in a baby, and I think that just kind of really threw us through a loop in how we connected with each other, um, how we connected now with the baby and toddler and work, and um so it was a lot of just changes, and we needed something, we needed a roadmap really to figure out how we could do this um and communicate well with each other because we were just hitting kind of roadblocks, it felt like, um, through every conversation we had.
When Fights Escalate Fast
Eric, can you talk more about what those roadblocks looked like? Like what were they and how did you know they were roadblocks? Yeah, I um I don't think I ever experienced the kind of level of frustration and um anger that was coming out in in in myself in relation to this, you know, this person that I committed my life to, to love and and respect and cherish. Uh I do not want to cherish you right now. I want to be in a different room, a different house right now, you know. Um at some point. Literally, I was uh I was packing my bags to go back to Pennsylvania and I justified about I'm gonna go work on one of my rental properties in Pennsylvania and just get some space. But it was it was rough. Like I didn't I didn't know what I didn't know. And um and I think you know when when Casey had um pitched this idea of coming to this this breakthrough thing and kind of told me what it was, I I can't I'd probably be lying if I said I was on board completely, but I also knew that I mean we need we need help, right? And um I I kind of I um I didn't didn't grow up talking about feelings and um counseling was not a thing in in any of my circles. Um you know and so yeah, it was definitely foreign. It was a foreign idea, um, but so thankful that Casey spearheaded it and took the lead. Um, and you know, I think my thought going in was, well, it can't hurt. So um, so yeah, I did that answer your question. Um I'm sorry, it was Yeah, yeah, it's good. I just um I I often think that, you know, and my experience in coach coaching couples is that we can think that what we have going on behind closed doors in our marriage, no one else has going on behind closed doors in their marriage. Right. And it can feel very lonely and you don't want to tell people the challenges that you're facing. Right. Um, but I think it's very helpful when someone else is like, yeah, we we were really struggling, and here's what it looks like, right? Like I was literally at one point packing my bag because I did not want to be in the same house with the woman I told I would cherish for the rest of my life, right? Right. So would you each describe a little bit more of what these roadblocks sounded like? What was happening for you guys? I think it both it would escalate um very quickly. I would I was the emotional one, and I would be the one that would start crying, um, which and he was like you said, would usually turn to more anger. And so I can vividly remember one of the in our first years of marriage, because we didn't have a baby yet, but I remember sitting on the steps of our apartment townhouse and and him saying, I think I made a mistake. I don't think we were supposed to be married, um, or something along those lines. And and that was like to me, like, how could I how could I have made such a mistake? You know, how were how are we already here to this point? Like we've only been married not even a year, and he's already saying this is a mistake. Um, and so I think we just let our emotions so easily get the best of us, and that would, those were our roadblocks was not knowing how to communicate what we needed, our expectations, um, and and we would use our words as weapons kind of against each other um to try to get across a point of how we are feeling in the moment, but it might not be the whole truth, you know? Um and so I think that was definitely a roadblock of of not kind of using our words well, and then um Yeah, I I think for me it was um and and and your question was how what did it
The Wounds Beneath The Anger
sound like? What did it what it did what did it look like? For me, it was this deep, deep wound that now through counseling and through breakthrough and through our individual sessions with you, I've I've realized it goes all the way back to childhood. These deep, deep wounds that were being exposed and reopened, um, that had never really properly healed, um, weren't they weren't addressed. And so I expressed that woundedness that that hurt with just pure rage and anger. And and that's how I didn't cry. I just got, I just became very angry. It's like, you know, like um I I guess, you know, thinking about cauterizing a wound when the bullet is still in inside of you, right? Um yeah, it it hurts like the Dickens, and I'm I'm going to cuss you out, but I but the bullet's still in there, and you don't know, you don't know that, and it's festering. And so every time somebody tries to reopen this this wound, and they don't know they're doing it, but ultimately God is trying to do that. He's trying to remove this thing out of you that need this foreign object that shouldn't be in you. And um, and every time she went there, like whether it was like what I was hearing, criticism or uh, you know, inadequacy, or you know, toxic identity, I was I was in the like the impaired state of the emotion, and I didn't recognize it as a gift. Um, it was an invitation to enter into this space and pursue healing. I I just didn't have, I didn't have, I just didn't know what I didn't know. So I didn't, yeah, that's yeah, that's how it was showing up for me. Yeah, there's a lot in that, Eric, and I want to slow that down for the listener because there's there's some important things to connect to. And here's what I hear you saying, and let me know if this is accurate. Um, in that what I hear you recognizing is that when you there was wounds before you ever meet met Casey that were took, they were like a bullet to your identity. They they began to leave you um fearing that you weren't capable, that you weren't able to stand up to the challenges of life and have the know-how or the courage to get through challenging things. And then you commit, and and because they never got healed, they sit like a uh, you know, as you say, uh, as a military guy, a bullet underneath the skin that needs to come out, but you don't even know it's in there, right? And so here's Casey, the woman that you love so much. And unknowingly, she's touching into those fears of do I have what it takes? Am I capable of this? Do I know how to work through this challenge? And what would come out is this if someone had a bullet wound in a bullet sitting inside of them and you touch that, they're gonna scream. Right. They're gonna get, they're gonna do a lot of things to try and get you to never touch that wound again. Right. And that ultimately that's what was happening in your interactions is you both had these wounds that you didn't know were impacting what you believed to be true about yourself, what you believed to be true about marriage. And every conflict was bringing you right up to touching each other's wounds. That's what needed to be addressed was the underlying wounds of your own identity and belief in your ability to create this beautiful thing called marriage together. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, I think I had the idea that marriage, you know, once you get married, it's just bliss and you um just love each other all the time. And it's so much more wonderful because you now have a person to do life with. But um, you know, we never I never really thought about how selfish I am until you have to live with someone and do life with them, and you realize how sure you are of your own way. Um yeah, yeah, yeah. Powerful.
What Breakthrough Feels Like
So you got invited to breakthrough. Uh Casey talks you into going, Eric. And now obviously you uh have been four-time. So um yeah, I think what I what would be most valuable is obviously you have four experiences, and each experience is likely different because every breakthrough is different. While the context is the same, what happens at every event and the tools that you gain at every event are different. And you two are becoming different in each one. So um, if I were a new person that you met, how would you describe what your experience of breakthrough is? Just first word that comes to my mind is is incredible. I mean, um I don't think I've there's there's ever been a year that I've actually looked forward to going. I that would that I don't if you said, are you looking forward to breakthrough? I'm like, no, no, I'm not. Um it's it's gonna, it's gonna suck, it's gonna hurt, it's gonna, but it's good, it's good. It's like, you know, does anybody in their right mind look forward to two a days for you know, football camp? You know, like that's not or three days. It's it's a very intense time, but it's so fruitful, and uh we've seen the fruit of that in our own marriage. And so I would say go. I mean, it doesn't if you think I I remember specifically, I don't know if this was two years ago, I think it was two years ago. I had I had gone into that specific year, that breakthrough, thinking, our marriage is great. Like we we don't have really, I mean, this is like let's let's reserve this for another year when things aren't so great. And and but that was actually the most pivotal year of my breakthrough. That was when I experienced the biggest breakthrough of my life, was the year I thought I didn't need to go. Love it. We don't know what we don't know, right? Right. And I can take you right back, and you you and I know Julia. We know you know the conversation that we had, and and it was yeah, very instrumental. Yeah, yeah. I would say the first year, it kind of feels like it feels like you're learning a whole new language, right? It's um a lot of tools that we had never heard before and potentially you know newcomers. Um, and so it that is like you're soaking in so much information. And then the reason we keep coming back is because there's always new ways to implement that information. Like we're in a different stage of life each time we have come, and so there's new ways to put that into motion and practice, and and new ways that we have to that something might have not um really implied to us in a year prior, but this time it might have been different. And um someone said some a first timer this year said to me, like, it just seems like you guys don't have very many problems. And I'm like, Oh girl, you know this is our fourth time here, you don't even know. Like we have a problem. I can take you to the the dining room and show you the dent in the wall where I threw the chair. And then tell me we don't have problems. Yeah, so it's just funny, like how each time there's something new to discover, even if outwardly it might not seem like a big problem, but like we're you know, kind of going through different things each time. And so I feel like that's why we keep coming back because it's just so um impactful, and there's always something new, even even if a lot of it stays the same. There's always something that we need to work on and kind of like refine. Yeah.
How Kids Learn Conflict Repair
So the two of you said that your biggest breakthrough is really happening in your family at large, and you're seeing it through watching your children, um, is where you're seeing your biggest breakthroughs. And uh keep in mind your oldest is five and a half, and then you have a three-year-old. And so that's pretty significant to be seeing results in that little of children. Can you talk about those results? Like, what are the results you're actually seeing? Yeah, um it's it's really it's really neat. It I I'm sure the audience is familiar the familiar with the cliche more is caught than taught. Um, these little these little eyes and ears, they they catch so much. They're so observant. They're listening to everything you say and do. They're they're watching how you resolve arguments, or maybe the arguments not resolved, but they see you staying in attention and and loving each other after it, you know, like choosing to see this as a gift instead of a of a curse. And so it's just really neat to see how they respond to that. So even um like the they'll both, our five-year-old and three-year-old both will be, you know, even if we have an argument and we need to take a time out and go into separate rooms, and uh, we know that we're gonna be coming back and revisiting that. And so the kids inherently know that too, and they're feeling like this needs, and and I know this because Emma will come over to me and Elijah will go over to mommy, and they'll be like, Hey, you guys need to say sorry to each other and and make this make this right, you know, they're they're our mediators, and it's really it's fascinating to see. Um, but they're doing it. And I think before, like prior to us like to us leaving and leaving it unresolved, they would um they would kind of retreat more, they would be to themselves more. We could tell that they weren't sure what to do with conflict. They were like, Okay, mommy and daddy are fighting, you know, what what's our place in this? Um, and they would kind of retreat to their room and just be quiet and kind of taking it all in, but now they are active in our arguments, which is like a weird participating in a good way. Like Emma will be like, she'll come out and she'll put her hand on her hip and be like, Daddy, you need to say sorry to mommy and give her flowers, you know? Instead of feeling like they don't know what to do because because we now do resolve it and we do kind of come back together instead of leaving it unresolved, where they might just be like, I don't, you know, I don't know what to do with this. And so it definitely has helped our family connection because they're they're not uncertain about that anymore. They know what it is at tension and it is helpful for them even to resolve conflict, they know how to kind of take a break and come back um and set a timer and share, share with the toys that they need wanted to share. Um and so I think we're just seeing that it the dynamic of them together and our whole family. Um, there's not like an uncertainty when conflict arises. Yeah. I think they're seeing it as a like conflict is healthy, right? This is something that should not be avoided. I think I think there's a lot of damage that can be done in avoiding conflict because you don't want to feel those emotions. Um so they're seeing it as a normal part of life. And and but they also know it's kind of like when you you listen to a song and that last chord, you know, the chord that the song started out with is not played, and there's like this lack of resolution. Uh um, it's it's like the song's not complete yet until that final chord is strummed that it began with. And so there's like that dissonance that they feel now, and they're they're like, hey, this isn't resolved yet. Let's bring this full circle, and they're okay with the tension. Yeah. Yeah. Casey, offline, you were saying that there's been a 75% increase in staying in the room versus versus it. Sounds like you guys would, one of you would storm out of the room, which we can talk more about that. And that uh 75% increase in staying in the room and resolving the conflict. So what I hear you guys saying is this is this is changing your legacy. Like this is the two of you came into marriage from your household not having any idea what to do with tension, not having any idea that this, what was ever coming up inside of you, was revealing your own work that needed to be done. You didn't know what to do with that, you took it out on each other. And now your children, even at three and five, are acting, it sounds like more emotionally mature in their conflicts than you guys were when you first got married. Does that resonate for you guys? Oh, yeah, 100%. I think what was modeled for me in my growing up when when my when there was a conflict between my parents, um, my dad did not revisit that. He just moved along like it never happened, and that was kind of his way of apologizing, and always left this like unresolved like, hey, it's not complete, you know? And and I was I was unknowingly modeling that same that same pattern. Yeah. So so yes, um, they are they are getting they are getting equipped um like you. Years ahead of us. And maybe Casey can speak more to how, you know. Yeah. And if I can just add to that, Eric, you're speaking scientifically. I don't know if you realize it or not, but basically what you're describing is that as a child, messy emotions were left open. They were left as an incomplete loop, right? So they're stored in the amygdala of the brain. And so when you and Casey got together and those unresolved emotions, those open loops were tapped into, it made that moment with each other feel as though you were right back in the past where those open loops were still sitting. And so what you guys are learning to do is close loops, and your kids are witnessing what it looks like to close loops, where the emotions actually, like if you were to get into a fight and you win, that loop is closed. When you hit a challenge and the challenge is overcome, the loop is closed. When it's not like that, the loop stays open and it's this agitation and this irritation that keeps compounding. And then when you really love someone, you when you really care about someone and you want this to work, it's even more compounded. Yeah. And so what you guys are describing is you're learning how to close loops to where those messy emotions are processed together. You take responsibility for your parts. And it's not this unsettling knowing that something's still unreconciled. Something, the pain is still there, right? Yeah, yeah. That's good. That's really good. I I did not realize I was that was scientific language, but that makes total sense. And um a thousand percent I can attest to that. Yeah. Casey, anything for you in that? Yeah, I think um it's funny, you you have said prior, like we marry someone that is like um what we've seen before. And so my dad was kind of like um he when they got an argument or kind of what I remember would he him be being in arguments with like his projects, more or less, and that's where the anger would show up. And um, you know, whether he was working on a car or something in the garage, I just remember my mom would like close the door and he would be, you know, screaming or swearing or something through about the project and um kicking the tires, yeah, right. Like something was going on downstairs. And my mom's reaction was always just close the door, don't listen, you know, let him do his thing. And so when Eric's anger would show up and I would see this, I'm like, what do I do with this? Just close the door, leave it, let him do his thing. Um, and so then I would get emotional because it would bring up these past things, and and I didn't know what to do with that anger. So I think that's where it always kind of like brought me to more being emotional about it because it was so familiar to me. And so I was like, what do I do with this? Um and so that's where it kind of got us stuck, was it was more of an emotional thing for me seeing him act in the similar way as my dad did. Yeah, you guys have painted a really good picture of what that was like, and I think a lot of listeners are really gonna resonate with that, right? We bring in these wounds, we don't realize they're wounds, we think the other person's the problem, we're afraid we didn't marry the right person because these conflicts are coming in.
A Real Fight And A Reset
Right. So is there a recent conflict that came up that you can each describe? Like, how did you work through it? Yeah. Um I think um the one that comes to my mind is uh recently, um, it was just maybe a week ago, maybe even yeah, it was the middle, middle of last week. Um we both were having just a just a tough day, you know, like we both were just feeling very um very dis discouraged circumstances and life and um pregnancy pregnancy home hormones and just the all the all the the things that life throws at you on an any given day, but we were both feeling it simultaneously, and we um so I I um I remember distinctly, and I can let Casey share her version of it, but this was this was what I saw and heard in this specific tension. It was um Casey had expressed her need for just some emotional support in the day, and and I was like, okay, I'm gonna do, I'm gonna, and it was crazy because this is coming right on the heels of I had just had a conversation with um one of our attorneys. We're going through this big league legal battle with one of our businesses in a different state, and it was like he said, Whatever you do in the midst of this, and this was our closing call, all right. He's like, he goes, Um, whatever you do, whatever you're going through, just remember, ask yourself, how can I make my wife's life easier today, no matter what you're going through. Just just answer that question on a daily basis. And it was phenomenal, it like really put things in perspective. So I'm I'm like, okay, I just need to put self on the altar right now, and and like, how can I make my wife's life better? And sometimes unknowingly, we're doing that for ourselves and not just not for for her, and that was exposed momentarily. I would get and get into that. And so basically, I I was doing these things, you know, checking those boxes, and I heard Casey talking to somebody, and I'm like, who is she talking to out in the driveway? And so I opened the door and I'm like, hey babe, who who are you talking to? And she didn't answer me. I'm like, is somebody, you know, I thought somebody was out there. I'm like, who are you talking to? And here she was sending a voice message, and she got really mad because I interrupted the voice message, and and she like, you know, she in my perspective, she bit my head off. I'm like, oh, whoa, okay. Like, my bad. Um and and then it happened again. I um later on, a few hours later, um, oh um Emma had had done something, and I I was like, hey, that's not fair. You shouldn't be treating Emma like that because like that was on that was on you, that wasn't on Emma. And and she's like, I am just having a really rotten day. I'm like, yeah, but you're taking out on everybody. And so then I got really mad and I showed up in a really bad way, and I started I started yelling at her and putting her down, and and I'm like, I wanted to get my point across. And so it just made our day just it took a terri a bad day and made it terrible. And uh she went outside, and then that's when um and I stayed in the house, and Emma came to me and she's like, Daddy, um, you know, you just need you just need to say sorry, and I was like, I know Emma, but she didn't have any right yelling at you like that. And and she's like, Yeah, but daddy, it just she she has a baby, and you she's pregnant, she's pregnant, she yeah, how'd she say it? She's pregnant, pregnant, she's pregnant, and she's like, Daddy, she's pregnant, and you just need to love her. And and I'm like, oh my goodness, you're so right. And I I so um so I just I went outside and um I brought her a drink and I just said babe, I'm sorry, I didn't show up, I didn't show up well in that. I shouldn't have shouldn't have raised my voice to make my point. And um, yeah, it was like I I was four years ago, I would have been right, and I there's nothing I needed to own. You know, I have been I have been checking these boxes to be a supportive husband, and you're biting my head off, you're biting Emma's head off, like all these things, right? And and then I was like, now um post-four breakthroughs, I'm like, you know, there there is a part I need to own in this. And um, so yeah. What was your experience with it, Casey? Yeah, I um well, with the voice memo, uh I I had given him a look of like, hey, I'm in the middle of something, you know, and he just kept he asked again, and so then I was like, Well, I'm trying to get this voice memo done. So that was, you know, one thing, and I don't think it really maybe it kind of festered in you a little bit more. And so then with a second incident, and it was something little, and it's always something little, like you say, it's never the exactly the situation. Um, but Emma had taken a pillow off of the chair that I normally sit in, which you know, when you're pregnant and you don't have any abs left, and you sit back and nothing's holding you up, it kind of feels jarring. And so I was like, Emma, you took my pillow again and you put it on a chair, you need to put it back. And Eric had just gotten out of our room or something, and so he just heard the end of it, right? He didn't hear um anything prior to what had happened or had seen anything, and so then he comes out kind of guns blazing, like, why are you yelling at Emma? And so I felt like I didn't even get to a chance to, you know, for him to see what had happened or anything, and so then he's just defending her and not defending me, and I was already emotional, so there was always it it just kind of would escalate from there of like, okay, now you're yelling about something and uh my abs hurt and like all these things, and so then it just felt like no one was on my side, and Emma was in the middle because she felt bad about it, and um, so I just had walked outside, and um, and so in those moments, I didn't really want to like apologize or own where my emotions had maybe led me astray because a pillow, you know, really in the grand scheme of things should not make you that upset. But um uh yeah, so I think it was just kind of like the culmination of all the things that kind of like added to it, but knowing that you know, our kids then kind of brought us back together and um yeah, and I I think for me it was I was taking I had this unresolved conflict that we had had earlier, the little spat out when she was on the in the driveway when she I felt attacked you know, in the face of me trying to serve her and and be there and and so there was I was I was taking and projecting that moment on this next moment. Yeah, it was an open loop. There was an open loop. So then the situation with Emma hit right back into that open loop. Yeah, exactly, exactly. Yeah, yeah. And so Casey, was there newness in being able to receive Eric's ownership? Like, what was different this time than how it would have been in the past? Um, I think in the past, a lot of times he would have come up to me and said, again, like instead of him taking his ownership first, um, and either of us could do that at any time, but a lot of the times it looked like him coming up to me and saying, Well, you need to say sorry to me. Um, or you need to realize what you did wrong. And I wasn't ready for that, you know, like I wasn't ready to say sorry. Um and so that was new of him being the one to kind of, and he's done it not to say this is the first time, but kind of extend that olive branch and be like, all right, here's my part that I played in this. Um, you know, I apologize about that. Um and will you forgive me? And that's something that we've been uh trying to not just own our piece, but then say, like, will you like will you forgive me um for what I did and and how I showed up? But the the natural reaction then for the one extending that olive branch is like, okay, now it's your turn. Now you say sorry, you know, but you you just have to sit in that and just let that bake and let it do its thing, and it sucks. But I'm telling you, I'm telling you, when you let the person, and you know what, it might never come. That and that's okay, but just giving the space and the freedom, I promise you that when it does come, it's so much more precious. And it that olive branch is not withered and forced and broken. It's a it's a fresh, genuine, authentic olive branch from the other person. Yeah, and and that's that those are all things that you have, I mean, and and breakthrough has has given us like that, you know, that's a testament to this journey that we have been on um and uh and pursuing. Yeah. And was that little interaction at the table, did that shift the evening for you guys? Did it feel like it closed the loop for both of you? Yeah, when you came outside. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We sat outside by a fire and um ended our night on a good note and then put the kids to bed together, which in the past would not have happened. One of us would be putting the kids to bed and the other one would be isolated somewhere. Yeah. Yeah.
Teamwork And A Common Enemy
And what difference is that making for you guys? I mean, definitely more connection and um feeling like we're a team in this. I think a lot of times there would I would use the words like I'm doing this all on my own, um, because one of us would kind of retreat and just feel like, you know, this is not an equal partnership. And so I think it it's felt more um like we're both in it together. We have the same kind of um things at stake, you know, that we want the same things for our family, and so we're we're 50-50 putting that effort in. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's it's it's been really good to see that um, you know, we we have a we have a common enemy and it's not each other. And that's been really that's been really helpful to because it is very easy to see the other person as the enemy in the problem. And um, and recognition is half the battle, I think, when you recognize what what your target really is, and then you're both together aiming at that that target, it's it's huge. Yeah, powerful. Yeah. Yeah. And it sounds like when conflict comes up, you have a roadmap and you have a little police officer that helps you when you're not obeying the roadmap. Yeah, yes, we do. Oh, well, thank you guys for sharing your experience and what it's uh creating for the two of you, not only in you guys' um in you individually and in your relationship together, but also in your children and in the the life to
Should You Go To Breakthrough
come. So um if someone is listening and considering breakthrough, what would you guys say to them? Do it, go for it. Just go. I would say it's gonna it's gonna cost you something. I mean, obviously financially, but it's gonna cost you kind of your pride, your pride. Um, but it's really the best thing that you can do. Um, and you're never gonna feel fully ready. Um, but it's something that is priceless because you're not gonna get this time back with your spouse, with your kids, whatever life stage you're in. Like there's no um there's no right time to like really dig into yourself, but it it exponentially makes your life better from here on out. And so why not, why not now? Yeah, yeah. And and I would say this, I would say um it it's like a seed. Um Emma and I, we just planted a little garden. It's actually is literally right over here. I don't know if you can see it. Yeah, I can, yeah, yeah. Um so we planted the little seeds in a row, you know, and and and but then we had to water them. We couldn't just keep them in the dry dirt, right? We had to water them. I had to remind Emma to come out and water them, and they need sunlight. Um, so the the the geography of the the planters is important, and then they sprouted up. It took about a week, and she saw the growth and she was ecstatic. She was just like, Daddy, daddy, look. And she was so excited about watering them, but then that excitement wore off and she would forget to water them. I'd come out here and they'd be like toasted, you know. I'm like, oh my goodness. Um but you know, it's just important to keep to take the breakthrough as a seed, take that seed, plant it, go. Like you have to you have to get into it, right? And then it doesn't end there. You just you have to keep building on that. And and I think one of the ways for us that we've continued to build on that is not just throughout the year, but um, but then going again. And and um and it's it's just amazing that each time I've gone, you know, when you watch a movie, your favorite movie, you always see something new. It's it's that way, you know? And um, so yeah, I would say go. It's a it's an incredible experience. Go and go again. Go and go again. Yes. Yes, wonderful. Well, thank you guys so much for sharing your time, which I know is short, nine days out from baby three being here. And um, I'm just grateful for both of you and getting to journey with you in um you guys creating the life and marriage that you long for. So thank you so much. Thank you, Julie. Thank you for everything.
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